very eventful. Tsk.

Today was quite an eventful day. I successfully, ok not completely, but 80% managed to divert my thoughts about boyboy and frm 12pm-930pm was in my own little world, with good tuition kids, and their loved ones, talking and mingling away, and met my dear mavis for dinner and had a short chat. It felt really gd, every outing with her feels like it was the first…..

Den, towards 9pm HE msged, that’s when I started thinking about how he was.. and he called to ask where I was and all, nice of him :) he was telling me how I had told him tuition ends at 8pm, and was wondering if he could fetch me back, but since I was out and he already took the expressway towards home, he said “well another time then..its ok.”… how nice of him rite. i mean its the thought that counts.

and yeah, was telling Mavis about him today. She was like asking me “how???”. I said, “huh what how? Theres nothing to how about. We are just gd close friends…” and she said hmm. Well all that I want from him is his genuine care and concern and his ever flowing bubbliness. And yeah, I told him promptly I was heading back home and he said ok I just took my bath am going to eat now. Nice. Den as I was heading back, I asked him if he had eaten, he said yes baby. So unlike him to use that word, but he did. So den, I gave him a call, it was 11.10pm, called once, no answer. Called another two times after 10mins, stil he never picked up. Sent him a msg. And I decided he was reallyyy sound aslp. Poor boy, slept so early, He must have had a long and tiring day..

And you know that gdfornothing friend I had. He disappeared like 18th Feb I think, or was it earlier, to seremban with his friends. That week I was unwell, and yet I was smsing him asking how he was, NO REPLY. Till thurs he said he just got back after going to Msia with his friends..apparently last min planned. I said I was really angry with him and I was wondering how come no news from him and all….den thurs fri sat sun. He decided to msg me on sun asking me if I was stil angry..and he said sorry. I said, well ive been pretty lonely and unwell, but u took so long to reply me, might as well not reply right….and well, I saw him online, like 2-3 days back. He said hey. I said, yeah u wont reply right? He said, so sorry, I just saw my phone, it was in my pocket. I said,” where was the boy I knew before who wld reply so quickly and also msg to check on me and see how I was..?? I have nothing to say.”.. den he went offline, I thought he got dc.

Den today, 11plus I logged on. Was online for a min, scrolled thru my online friends list, and I saw him happily online. And the next min, he went offline. Hmmm. Fishy. Whats that supposed to mean. 1. he didn’t wanna talk to me? 2. he just happened to go offline when I logged in 3. Does he hate me for something I didn’t particularly do?. Goodness me, I have no clue. We were friends since Dec. and After 2.5 months, what has happened. The bond we shared has fragmented, I cant see any head or tail joined together now. Everything looks disfigured and faded. I have no idea seriously, I just hope time will tell me Im thinking too much. So honestly, I swear, the only guy friend I have now, in talking and smsing mode, is this BOY. Is that sad? I dunno what has happened, why I lose ppl like that, but sometimes I don’t care especially when ive done nothing wrong. If u choose to live your life as such, I have much better things to do too. The next thing I wonder is will I ever get to watch He is just not that into you, with any proper male species in the days to come? Why a male, is cos my Gfs have watched it already. They are fast, unlike me. Sheesh.

Every day passes by, it seems quite blank to me. No real motivation except books, papers and my pending assignments. Tomorrow I thought of hanging out with my permanent Bf, my Mummy. I love her no matter how much we fight, and we have nice cosy moments together… Unlike me and my dad, bicker and bicker only. Cos HE starts first ok. Anyway, I feel like some O level kid having NO Life and resorting to small, simple, lonely pleasures in life. Suddenly, the fact about going for a movie with some nice boy is overwhelming me. I don’t think ill ever get that chance, but im not going to bother if it doesn’t happen. Am I the revathy who is turning 23 in 6mths time? What has happened to my life? When ppl get older, its supposed to get more fulfilling, satisfying, and of course happening. Mine is going downhill. Im getting more bored, feeling that life is more routine, staying online more rather than headed out of home, I Go out ONLY for tuition, and I come back straight and sleep long hours. AM I going mad? I have been so homebound this holidays, and of course falling ill because I sleep a lot??? Argh. Theres a nice pleasant song playing in my headphones… Mudhal Murai Unnai partha Pothu…Yummy.

Gd nite.